Sooo thish exshplains why I breeshed through college with a verrry goods GPA. Hic! Schientshts at Ohio State University have dishcovered that feeding rats their equivalent of two drinks of beer for us people improves their memories. Hic!

Says researcher Matthew During, "We saw a noticeable change on the surface of certain neurons in rats that were given alcohol. This change may have something to do with the positive effects of alcohol on memory." He and partner Margaret Kalev-Zylinska of the University of Auckland in Middle Earth New Zealand presented these findings to the Annual Society for Neuroscience conference in Atlanta.

Of course, higher dosages of the good stuff will still kill brain cells and destroy livers. So that's still bad. But the moderate-drinking rats performed better in memory testing than both the non-drinking rats and the obvioushly drunk rats. Low levels of beer alcohol triggered expression of a particular receptor, NR1, in the rats brains. The researchers think that NR1 is connected to good memory and learning in people's.

Ironically, "People who drink to forget bad memories may actually be doing the opposite by reinforcing the neural circuits that control negative emotional memory," says During. He says these findings will have implications for brain diseases like Alzheimer's. Now if you will excuse me, my hangover and the last three bottles of good ol' Johnnie Walker's giving my gut merry hell, I must acquaint myself with the commode. (Runs to the bathroom to barf)

QJ.net editors start conferring with one another. "THAT'S IT! That's the last time we let Chris L. write after a night at the bloody pub!"